Aum Love Now: Hanging in there

Epoch 1 - Journey 1 - Cycle 3 - Day 91

Danny Skyfeather here - coming to you in this living, eternal, present moment. It is now Epoch 1, Journey 1, Cycle 3, Day 91. And it feels like this third cycle has been so grueling, so stressful, so difficult, that it's just mind boggling how hard it's been. Almost every day I want to quit. Well, not every day, but a lot of days I'm just so discouraged about this work getting out into the world.

I have this tiny website That is just in a dusty corner of some data farm and no one sees it.

But the beauty of the practice is that it's not up to me whether Aum Love Now survives the thousand years that I've set out for it to survive, or that I've hoped and prayed and intended for it to survive. My only job is to practice it now, today.

And I have a very difficult time accessing and feeling my emotions because I was conditioned at a very early age to just block them out, block them out -- shut it down. And I do the shutting down before I even know I have the feeling. And so it's been challenging.

And on top of all of that, I quit smoking cannabis on September 4th after having spent most of this year meeting daily with Mary Jane and having great sessions. I just reached a point though where I knew I had to stop.

I just had to quit and I don't regret any of it. I don't regret any of the time smoking. I would actually still be smoking now if I could smoke and still have a short term memory. Cause my brain was getting quite fried and I was unable to complete sentences. Or I was forgetting the topic of the sentence as I spoke the sentence, which is very, very weird. But I just reached a point where I knew I needed to quit and I just did. I just

It was such a beautiful, elegant thing, the quitting, but then the challenge was September and October were just brutal. Emotional outbursts, depression, sadness, melancholy, and a lot of that is the feelings and pain I was trying to cover up when I was smoking.

There's a lot in my personal life that is just difficult to say the least. A lot of pain and regret, and a lot of self-love that I'm needing to do. And healing and forgiveness and being gentle with myself.

So day, today is day 91.

One thing I want to emphasize in this work is that this is human to human spiritual connection. Yes, AI can be used to create the shell and the structure and create images with it. But this is a space of human to human spiritual and super conscious connection.

I'm going to write all my own stuff. AI is not going to do the writing for me. Or the speaking for me. I'm not going to be an AI bobblehead like I see so many on the internet.

Thank you from across time and space to whoever found this page.

Who are you? Where are you?

I love you.